Marriage/Divorce UPDATE!!!

My family right before leaving to church on Mothers Day. 

By Golly Gum Drops, this Marriage thing is a Flipping Roller Coaster I tell you, at least for me it is. 
The past couple of Weeks have had some Awesome HIGHS and some Disappointing LOWS. 
We have finally come to the Conclusion that our Oldest's Anxiety is what is causing him to Mentally Check out (as it's just to much for his body to handle) causing him to be very impulsive and flighty.
We are still not for sure what it is that is causing the High Anxiety, but we are leaning towards the Stress at home with him not knowing if dad will Lash out at him for the things he does. 
Living in uncertainty constantly is kinda like living in the wild and needing to head to the nearest water hole but not sure if leaving yourself exposed will end your life from either a Lion coming at you, an Alligator leaping at you out of the murky water you are trying to drink and sucking you under, or you'll simply die of dehydration cause you are to scared of the unknown.
So now that we are aware of what's going on, we Plan to do our best to remedy this problem ASAP.
You see Layne has a very short patience fuse and as an adult I am able to walk away or cope with it differently than a 12 year old child is. Not that I want to, But I also know that change doesn't happen over night and there has been Improvement in a handful of areas. 
For instance he got up early, let me sleep till 8:30am and made the family breakfast burritos, blueberry scones (premade/frozen), and orange juice for breakfast. He also cleaned up the kitchen and did the dishes. That has not happened in our entire marriage for a mothers day Yet. So That felt wonderful to not have to get up and make my own food first thing in the am, with the kids crying at me that they are hungry and me fighting them to get up to the table. He also helped the kids get ready with the church clothes, I LOVED the photos of Westy and Daddy (Layne helping put his tie on) below. 

He has also been trying to spend more time doing things with us, like going on family adventure walks, bike rides, or out in the community, and the kids and I have appreciated that too. 
But again it's NOT all Roses and Rainbows, he is also still Extremely Grumpy and short tempered often and that causes arguments, disappointment, and sorrow in the home a lot. His new Job has him home more often so I think that is part of why things have been rough, he is irritated more by the kids, cause he is around them more often. 
Now I am not placing all the blame on him, It Takes Two To Tango, and I certainly know I have my issues. For instance I have been battling so much back pain that I have been Short tempered with him, and not able to keep up on the house work as much. Plus I have not been able to really Sweat it out or get my anxiety under control through my daily exercise so that has been building too. Sometimes I find myself spending more time half working half wasting time so I don't have to deal with Life. Then I have not been able to Serve others as much and since that is my LOVE Language I have been battling feeling like I am NOT what or where I want to be, and that pulls at me too. 
BUT one of the Main Reasons that I share all of this with you is so that you will Realize that I am Human too, I do NOT live a perfect Life, and I don't Claim too. 
If I can Choose to Be Happy and Keep working to Create The Life I Want To Live amid this Crazy Day to Day drama, SO CAN YOU!!!
Plus When we feel like we connect and we are NOT alone in our Trials, for some crazy Reason it's a little bit Easier to KEEP Going and Push our Way Through them. 
I challenge you REACH out let me know what's going on, if I can simply listen or possible share ideas that have helped me and could help YOU. Cause going at life ALONE Sucks Big Time, so Don't Attempt To.   

My Family/Your Family is Worth Fighting For!

Top: Cassie and I spent some time before bed, using the kids new art kit, we went on a family adventure walk near a creek, Below: Layne made us all a Delicious breakfast, and enchilada's, squash, and fresh strawberry lemonade for dinner.