Do You Hate or Love Mothers Day?

Mother's DAY

I have wanted to share this from the moment I started doing the dishes and cleaning the kitchen on Mother's day. But I have been busy and just now am getting the chance to sit down and write it out. 

So I hope and Pray that this will come out the way God wants it too and that it will make sense and NOT offend any one as that is certainly NOT my intentions at all. 

So Mother's DAY what do you think of when you think of that day?

Are you one who thinks: 

* Awe... No big deal, just another day of the week

* I expect my significant other to pick me out the prefect gift and help my kids do the same

*This is about celebrating my mom, not to worried about myself

*I have always wanted to be a Mom and haven't been able to yet, So I HATE this day

*I wonder what this day will bring, eager to enjoy what life presents you with

*Can every one just leave me the Heck alone today so I can have some much needed peace and quite 

*Do I really have to go to church and listen to all these talks about Amazing MOM's who my mom was nothing like and I am not anything like either

*a day out to eat, or spend shopping, relaxing, etc....

*I hated my MOM and feel like I am a sucky mother so why celebrate all these Perfect MOM's 

*Every one else seems to have the perfect day and Mine sucks, my kids don't listen, my spouse doesn't seem to notice it's even mothers day, and NOW I am angry!!!

*I have the Best Children, and spouse who cleaned the house last night, I woke up to breakfast on the table and Flowers and gifts, and I can't wait to see what the rest of the day will be like

*Could we just skip today, as you pull the covers back over your head

So my morning started out with my at my bedside asking the Lord to allow this day to go Beautifully, to allow my kids to fight less and to actually listen to me, so I didn't have to yell after the 5th time of asking them to get their church clothes on. I asked that I would have a cheerful and thankful attitude for whatever might come my way and that I wouldn't EXPECT anything grandiose so i wouldn't be let down. I Thank my Heavenly Father for allowing me the privileged of raising 3 of his children as my own on this earth. 

Then I walked down stairs to get breakfast started before we rushed off to church at 9am and on the way down my hubby great me with a fruit smoothie he had made me to give me breakfast in bed. I took it told him thanks but I was going to go down and make a full breakfast for everyone, and I sipped on it while I began making Pumpkin Chocolate Chip pancakes and eggs. DeLish Right!!!

Well after only 15 mins the Yelling began, the younger two kids were arguing, my oldest wouldn't get moving and I needed help getting the food finished and table set if we were going to eat before we left for church. (mind you I have not showered, dressed or done hair or make up yet) Gah.... I did not want to be a Yelling Mother on Mothers day. What kind of example of a GOOD mother was I, NOT so Much of one a all at that moment. 

So I tried to calmly express that I didn't want to raise my voice and to please hurry so that we could all enjoy breakfast together, things calmed a bit and the kids came down and began assisting and we were able to RUSH to eat before running out the door to church with 10 mins to spare when we arrived, Yahoo!!!!

So at Church, Yep the talks were about others who had amazing examples set for them from their Mothers, and at first I thought Yes don't we all wish our mom's could be so perfect, but then almost as quickly as that thought crossed my mind I thought, I am sure that their mothers also Yelled, and got frustrated over them not doing what was asked, but that they just chose to share the positive experiences that their moms showed them, so I was grateful that I learned from the messages shared, my Kids will remember what we do with them the most. So as long as we do not YELL, at them as often as we read, play, laugh or dance with them It's OKAY, that we mess up (as long as we keep trying) 

Then our Relief Society meeting was about how Motherhood is a natural instinct in all women, and that we do NOT need to physically bare a child to have the ability to Mother, Nurture and Be an example of what a Mother should be. We can reach out to those who's home life maybe less than Ideal and bring them in under our wing and love, them. Show them that they do have some one who cares about what they do in life. and even if we have our own children we still can reach out and love others, as SO many in this world do not have that blessing of some one they can call "MOTHER"

Then we had Cheese cake for all the Women in our church 18+ in age and visited for a while and that was so nice. 

Okay so now fast forward to us driving home, I say to the family, I invited a friend over to dinner (her hubby is oversees with the military right now) so she wouldn't be alone for Mother's day. So could you each help as soon as we get home, and I assigned out tasks that need to be taken care of to make the afternoon flow more simply (and all the responsibility dumped on me)

So I came in and got things stared while others were changing and then I remembered that I needed to call my mother before her Church began, so I got on the phone with her, I noticed while I was on the phone that none of what I had asked be started on was being tended too. So after 30 mins I told my mom I needed to get off the phone with her and go figure out why nothing was getting done. (Our kitchen was a disaster from the night before and breakfast and there was NO way I could cook dinner in it)

I Promise I have a Point to all this rambling, please keep reading

I go out of the room I was in to find the kids watching a movie, then I walk upstairs to find my husband Napping!!! YEP I am sure you guessed it I was ANGRY, Hurt, Disappointed and Started Yelling Again!!! "Why On Mother's day do you all seem to act worse and less caring about me than every other Dang day of the Year. Why can't you just do what I freaking ask you to do instead of make me do it all" "It's ONE day, ONE Flipping Day a year that you guys should Respect me and help out with out being screamed at first!!!" 

I totally screamed that, except it was probably worse (but I don't want to go there) so I stormed back down stairs into the kitchen and began Cleaning it, (the dishes were piled up because Layne hadn't unloaded, that's one of his assigned chores) for 2 days so there were many piled up dishes and now the sinks and other counter were filled too. I began washing the dishes by hand and Asked my daughter to take a photo to document "How Crappy my Mothers Day was!" 

But then while I continued to scrub the dishes feeling sorry for myself my heart was soften and I began thinking Know what, I have things Pretty darn good in life. So What that my kids didn't help out right away or my hubby went and took a Nap. I have a Husband who loves me and I love him. I have Smart, wonderful children whom I love and they love me (or at least they tell me they do daily, multiple times) I have a home that I can cook in to mess up the kitchen so that I have to Clean. I Have the Gospel to teach me that It's OKAY that I am not perfect in this life, that is what the Atonement of Jesus Christ is for. I am grateful I have a friend that want's to come spend Mother's day with us.

So then I began thinking more about WHY I was so hung up on Not feeling things were good enough on Mothers Day and I came to this conclusion:

"I was Comparing myself, children, husband, and circumstances to others. I was EXPECTING things to go the way I had heard others Mother's Day's in past years had gone. I was wanting my Family life to be a compilation of all those wonderful stories and images I have seen over the years of how others Celebrate Mothers Day. And how they most likely left out all the negative things that may have occurred through the day as well." 

LADIES, We have to Stop Comparing ourselves (or our lives) to Others Best selves (or highlights of their lives) The Devil wants us to be miserable like he is and he is really great at taking a day (Mother's Day) that was set a side to give thanks and show appreciation to our Mothers and making it all about "Me" day! Poor Me, Things didn't go as I Imagined, Expected or Had Hoped they would, so Now I am going to get down on myself, my family, and turn to Social media to express how Crappy this day went for me!

So I had some Good highlights about my day and some Really crappy ones as well, just like I am betting many of you experienced. 

To end the day once I got the kitchen fully cleaned I cooked a wonderfully delicious meal, and enjoyed it with my friend and our kids played great together after while we talked and painted our toe nails. Thanks Tiffany for being a good friend and helping to make my day Fun and filled with laughter.

In Conclusion, PLEASE Stop hating Mother's Day, Stop Expecting things to be perfect (we aren't perfect and neither are those around us) Stop Freaking out when Life isn't as Perfect as "Sally's facebook" Shows her life seems to be. Do NOT Judge her and be Mad at her or her spouse for sending a couple hundred bucks on her. Because we Have No idea what there Real Life (behind closed doors) is like and it's Not our Place to Judge or criticize. 

Instead Embrace the Fact that you were instilled with the ability to Nurture and Love others from Birth, and YOU are not dependent on others to make your day wonderful, YOU can Choose for it to be that way, or You can Choose to feel depressed, Angry, Hurt, etc.. by others actions. 

I Choose Going Forward on Mother's Day to Embrace it all, to LOVE that I am a Mother (even when my kids can't even pose for a dang picture, or help set the table) to Not Expect it to be some Glorious, Relaxing, Perfect Day, Because I live in Real Life not Television, and I sure hope you will choose to do the same. 

Thanks for Reading, I hope this showed you a different perspective than you may have considered before. 

Sherin Stark