Trying to Put Feelings Into Words...Impossible

I am not sure where to start or honestly what is even going to come through my fingers as I type this. 

***Update at the bottom***

However I have been struggling BIG time today with mental stability and telling myself a MILLION Reasons why it's NOT okay for me to have a breaking point. Why I can't be week, WHY God doesn't want to bless me right now, because I am NOT strong enough to give him back what he deserves. 

I have been crying on and off, frustrated so much by that fact I am only human and CAN'T Physically, Emotionally or Mentally do ALL that I feel is required of me Daily. 

As I sit here typing this out can barely see, my baby is kicking my tummy and reminding me of just how difficult hormones can make our lives when pregnant. It beyond TOUGH to battle daily when you want nothing more than to feel "Normal" and yet you can't.

I have tried to reach out to a few people for help and support, and yet it just doesn't seem enough, I just want to SLEEP until i have my baby so the mess of emotions can go away. Yet in all honesty I don't want that at all, I want to Keep running at the pace and life I have created for myself. 

I want to Exercise and burn off stress and release endorphins, I want to eat HEALTHY, cause let's be real I just FEEL Good when I do and my body functions better. I want to remember and make time to Read and study the Gospel of Jesus Christ daily. I want to keep the house hold running efficiently. I want to support others in their desire to get healthy, I want to help bring in an income for our family and relieve some of the burden my husband feels. 

BUT then these HORRIBLE emotions come our of Left field and Drag me down, cause me to beat myself up mentally and leave me complete Exhausted and useless for hours.  

And that's just the half of it, my kids need to go to their therapy and counseling, and appointments and voice lessons, and church activities, and social events, etc... They want and deserve to be kids, even though I don't want to Leave the house and it takes so much energy just to get myself to do so many days. 

Then there's the horrible financial stress of not being able to maintain or continue to build at the rate I was with my Coaching business or the VIPKids (English Teaching) jobs that I was working so diligently. So bills and debt is piling up and we haven't even had the baby yet, which will add a whole other level of $$$ going out to cover those costs. 

YES, I believe I have reached that point that is called the Last Straw, that one that burdens you so much that you simply Can NOT  keep going, it makes you collapse (physically, emotionally or mentally, it's all awful) And as much as I HATE that I have reached this point and certainly had NO intention of allowing any one to know. 

I also know that when others have shared this about their life with me, I have been able to serve, listen, and help them. PLUS I have learned from their experiences, their trials and how they pulled through. 

So still unsure of why I felt compelled to lay it all out like this, but Maybe just maybe someone needs to know, Even if we look like a "Super Hero" on the outside, NO one is, and without Angels to strengthen us both Spiritually and Physically We Simply Can NOT do it Alone. God didn't intend us too and I guess I am finally able to admit through a flood of tears I too can not do it alone, or even with a small circle of support. 

I need your prayers to join with mine to HELP me get through these next 3 months until my hormones can begin leveling out and I can be Stronger than I am now. 

And I beg you if you have unkind thoughts or feelings about this post or why I am sharing too much, or a psycho mess and it's ridiculous that I can't keep it all together, Please just move on, I honestly CAN NOT handle Hurtful comments at this time. Even if you think your trying to help, if you wouldn't want some one to say it to you, don't say it to me. 

To those of you who have been in similar situations as this and have shared your experiences, THANK YOU!!! It's gotten me this far, I have been battling this for several months and feel like I have kept things together pretty well. In fact I bet the majority of you will be shocked that I am at this point because I keep things under wraps, even most of my family has no idea. 

I am NOT going to read back through this so if there are mess ups or typos, just know that half the time I could hardly see from tears and the second half my fingers can't keep up with my brain. However if I reread through this I will most likely NOT share and delete it and then It won't help anything. 

God Is Good and Does have a purpose for me to go through this particular trial, I'm just blinded currently as to why and doing my best to figure it out, until then. Thank you to one of you who has listened to me, served me, or cried with me. Means a lot.

-Sherin
Facebook Update

I Almost Gave Up and Quit Trying...

It's been 3 months since I last attempted a workout, and after I did I ended up hurting for 3 days and need a chiropractic adjustment. So I gave up, every time my mind has considered it, I have allowed TONS of Excuses to Stop ME from attempting it again. 

Yet my Mind Yearned for the Post workout High, the Accomplishment I feel after completing a good sweaty workout. The Mental Clarity it provides me, and one of my Favorite ways to De-Stress. I mean lets' face it, pregnancy, kids, finances, house work all bring large amounts of stress weekly. 


Well this weekend I took my family off the Grid for 48 hours and we went camping with some friends 2 hours away from home and ZERO cell service. It Felt fantastic to be surrounded by people I love and the Incredibly beautiful Creations God's placed on this earth for us to Enjoy. 

My soul was so refreshed and Ready to PUT my excuses aside, 
make a plan, easy into it if necessary but GET Back to MY ME TIME of Exercise along with my spiritual and personal development. I need to be able to make it through these next few months Strong and Ready for a new addition to our family, and right now most days I just feel frazzled, like I am simply surviving the day. 

So Today was the day, I Threw out all the excuses and Pushed Play, put a SMILE on my face even when my legs and arms were shaky and LOVED every second of the 3rd Trimester Prattle workout I did. The Post workout high is flooding me with JOY, Accomplishment, and I am just feeling GOOD!


Today Marks the 6 month point in my 4th pregnancy and I've only gained 12lbs, I would love it if I can keep it under 25lbs throughout the whole time, but with my appetite increasing and lack of exercise I knew this was One More reason I needed to make it a priority again. 

Losing weight after a baby is Flipping HARD, I know!!!  With my first I gained 50lbs, with my 2nd two 40lbs and it took me years to get that weight/fat off my body and build back up my muscles to be able to be FIT, and STRONG and Feel Great. 

***So I want to offer to those of you who are Pregnant along with me right now, or who are recently (6 months or less) post par-tum a Support group to JOIN, that will Assist you on getting back on Track with your Fitness/Food Goals. 


Taking that initial step is Hard, BUT what's even harder is: 
~after that first 4-5 days when your tired 
~your muscles are sore
~you didn't get much sleep last night
~you want to eat a Freaking Juicy Burger and Fries 
and you just Throw out those goals for that one MOMENT of pleasure that it brings. 

Don't let that Happen, let us Support, Encourage and Keep you going until you Reach the Results you Put Your Mind too. 

Ready to Start again???

Message me and lets' get Started.

-Coach Sherin Stark 

Join us Here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/Makingitaboutme/

Life is all about "Curve Balls"

Life was seeming to go REALLY Well, I had a new J.O.B. I absolutely Loved, we had just become home owners again after 9 years of renting, the kids were doing well in school and my Beach body business was flourishing. Seriously I couldn't be more happy with the direction life was heading. 

Then, BAM!!!

I started having symptoms that led me to think I may be pregnant, which I still am unsure how (as we were using multiple forms of bc.) Other than  the LORD saw fit that we had another daughter in our family. 

Took me about 3 days for the Shock to wear off (I bought the chocolate bar after the test came back positive to try and calm myself, didn't work, but tasted great.) before I finally thought,  "Okay plans can shift a bit, I can still run my business and because I am already fit and really healthy this pregnancy ought to be much easier, so I can continue running my Beachbody/Coaching business as usual." Things were going fairly well, I had a Fantastic Business Trip that I had earned to Riviera Maya, Mexico in April and morning sickness was mostly gone, so it was going to be AMAZING!!!

NOPE, another "Curve Ball" came my way. Just 3 days before I was to leave on my trip I had terrible lung pain and a massive migraine, so I took myself to the ER and found out after 3 hours and tons of tests that I had a Blood Clot in my lung.               I found out I would not be able to Fly to Mexico and enjoy the incredible all inclusive resort that I had been planning for 18 months and I found out that I would now be giving myself injections of blood thinners for the Entire rest of my pregnancy (6 months)

I do not care for needles, in fact until my second baby I had to have some one talk me through it or hold me down when a needle came near me. Now I was being told I had to stab a 1" needle into my tummy every day, twice a day for 6 months. 

I was Devastated!!!

Well, not only did the blood clot cause the daily injections it also caused me to not be able to keep up with exercise as I couldn't breath well and now get winded so easily. 

How could I possible still be a Health Coach when I couldn't Exercise, and how was I going to stay Fit throughout this pregnancy. I wanted to Scream, Cry and Be ANGRY all at once. 

Folks my life felt like I was trying to grasp at straws at this point and I couldn't Cope, I felt Depression taking over and swallowing me Up and FAST!!!!! 

So I decided I better start focusing Heavily on Nutrition as that could help with depression as well as keeping me Healthy thought the pregnancy. 

I was NOT going to sit down, and Give up and allow this "Curve Ball" to Win, I would Fight, and FIGHT I have!                                                            

I have fought nearly every day to stay above the Emotions that try to engulf me, to keep my sanity, to be the mommy I want to be to my kids, to be the Health Coach my clients deserve. To not lay in bed all day and allow my house to fall apart. I have fought to keep from giving up and although it's been Tough as Heck (Honestly I'm leaving out tons of detail, like how I began having allergic reactions to the injections and itched Insanely for 4 weeks) Probably The toughest thing I have experienced to date in my life. 

*I have Learned, I am STRONGER than I thought I was. 

*I have learned I have Friends who Support, and Keep me going. 

*I have a GOD who leads me to solutions when it appears there are none. 

*I have a Business that I Adore and has Kept me Pushing through. 

I decided to Jump in and try out our New 2B Mindset Nutrition Program which Focuses on Proper Balance in What we Eat, When we Eat it and WATER!

It's truly been a life saver, rather than drown my sorrows in sugary, salty, treats. I have Nourished my Mind and Body with the foods it needs to Fight Depression and Have energy and Feel GOOD!

Here are just a handful of our meals that Taste Amazing, yet are Totally Jam Packed with Nutrition.

I am now 24 weeks into this pregnancy and although I still have parts of my days and even some full days that I just can't shake feeling down and hopeless. For the Most part I look for the Good in my days, I do things that I know keep me happy and busy and I LOVE being able to continue my Passion of Coaching my clients along their Healthy Journey's.

Some have mentioned "If I was you I would just quit that for now until your not pregnant"  But you see, it Brings me joy being able to offer what I know will Work, Get Real Lasting Lifetime Results. Not just in a "Great BODY", but in a Stronger more capable mind, and a happier more at peace soul. I adore that it's been a part of my life for 3.5 years now and I truly hope it wont ever go away.  Because of Beachbody and Knowing how to take care of my body with proper nutrition, even though I have not followed an official workout in 10-12 weeks I still have only gained 7 lbs, I haven't ballooned up due to bad eating choices, or had to be at the Chiropractor weekly, and only had heart burn a few times. 

I am doing pretty well considering all that's been thrown at me.  So of Course I want to continue to Share this Incredible Life Changing Business with anyone ready to give it a try, anyone ready to change their lives mentally, emotionally and physically for the better. 

At the end of each day I try to Remember the Good in the World and what blessings I was showered with, and ways that I can improve just a little tomorrow. 

Don't Let those "Curve Balls" Take you DOWN, Fight for the life you want, It's so WORTH IT!

- Sherin Stark

Finding Joy Amidst the Rain Storms of LIFE!

    I've been planning this for weeks out in my mind. I knew I wanted it to involve Fun, Laughter, and Create Positive memories for the kiddos. 

I thought about so many options of what this day could entail, and finally settled on these ideas. 

Bubbles, Welcome Home chalk sign, Ice cream, Squirt guns, Camping in the tent in the back yard, S'mores after dinner and HUGS!!!

Weston (my 6 year old, who I home schooled for Kindergarten) and I Planned this out and eagerly prepped everything to be as close to perfect as possible. 

We mowed the lawn, watered it (so it would be dry for the tent going up in the evening) wrote out the welcome home message, shopped for the other items and eagerly awaited the kids arrival home from school. 

Although the kids had many responsibility that they had neglected from yesterday and that morning, I didn't want to greet them with frustration or demands of what needed done. So I planned out to have 2 hours of Play with them, then we we focus on what needed to be taken care of and daily chores. We Play, Hugged, ate Ice Cream, Drew chalk pictures and Laughed together for about 30 minutes, then THINGS took a Down Turn Fast!!! :( 

 My oldest son battles ADHD, Depression and Anxiety. Most of the time people don't see it from the outside looking in, as he is pretty well behaved in public settings. 
But when he is in his Safe, Comfortable zones he has bad flare ups and it's so awful to watch and try to help and NOT know how to. Something that may have worked 3 days ago doesn't this time. It's always a game of trial and error and sometimes what we try to calm him with sets him off worse.  

He asked to do something that I had previously told him NO to. He became defiant and did it anyway. 

At this point in my pregnancy I physically can't stop him any more from doing things. So I tried to just be calm about it and allowed him to do it, he said he would only do it for 15 minutes and then he would join the kids and I back playing outside. 

Instead he broke what he was working on and got super angry and then refused to join us and became angry and saying hurtful things to his siblings and I. 

When I asked him to stop and change his attitude because I didn't want this day to be ruined, it of course set him off and he became physical and throwing things and talking about wanting to die and the horrible mom I am and miserable life he lives, etc....


Honestly it Breaks my heart, to hear those words, see his actions and not understand WHY he can't see the goodness around him, and rather only the few negative things that are completely clouding his judgement. 

So this went on for about an hour. He finally began to calm down, and just went back to trying to fix the thing he was working on that broke. Since I was out of energy I just let him do it. 

Then as we had discussed our two hours of play time were up and we needed to move on to chores and other stuff. 


Well he didn't want to do that AT ALL, and made it very clear to me that he didn't plan too. I asked him so kindly and tried to bribe him, and he finally did, very grudgingly. 

Folks remember trying to handle Pregnancy Emotions and exhaustion on top of parenting two other kiddos through all this seriously takes a Toll on ones emotions and physically drive. 

Any who, I wont' go on and on, but finally around 5 hours later (after we gave him his prescribed Anti-Anxiety emergency back up pill) he calmed down enough to eat dinner with us and then go outside and help in the yard a little getting the tent set up and things situated for wrapping up the evening. The meds ended up knocking him out around 8pm in the middle of the lawn last night, while the rest of us were sitting around talking. 


But I wasn't going to let that mess up the plans we had made for the other two kiddos, so once he was out and we helped him to his bed we proceeded with our evening plans of s'mores and camping. (making S'mores in the oven on broil for 2 minutes, then adding chocolate and the top graham cracker, brilliant. you can get several done at once, and no smoke smell in your hair and clothes)

Over all we did make some Great memories and I know this kids will remember the day we had together, I just hope they remember more of the good than the bad.

So why did I take the time to type this all up and share with YOU???

Because I am a huge Believer in Finding the Good in everything, in taking what could be Horrible and finding Joy through it. 

And often times that makes my life come across to others as Simple, Fun, very few trials. But I want you to always Remember God provides us with Trials to help us Grow, Learn and Become Strong and I have plenty of them!!!


There will ALWAYS be Trials, if we look at our life from the negatives rather than the positives, we will be Depressed, Stressed, Unhappy and always Comparing ourselves to others "Perfect, Easy, Wonderful" lives. Which just isn't Realistic. 

I challenge you (maybe even plead with you) to Search every day for the Positive things in life, no matter how small. Allow each day to be a WIN, and learn from the Trials that you are going through.

Don't get Crushed by them, that's no life to live at all.