NOT the Dream JOB, but a BLESSING in Disguise YES!

This post is going to be L O N G, but I have so much to share to update y'all on the happenings these past couple weeks.

So, I had a childhood friend reach out to me saying he had seen some of my posts about our family really struggling and he knew of a Job that might be a good fit for Layne. at First I didn't think much of it, since most any time a friend or I would suggest a job to him, he was just not interested in NY of them, so my first instinct was to not even pass it on.

Well after a bit I spoke with Layne about it and he decided he would at least look into it and find out a bit more info. NO WAY I was seriously surprised by that response. BUT I also know he had gotten to the point that he KNEW we Had to make a change and it needed to be SOON. After a little back and forth he finally had an interview set up 3 weeks ago, the job was certainly different than what he had done before and again it was sales which we really wanted to get away from. Simply due to the fact that 70% of Sales companies pay low base pay and you have to live of commission which has been a real roller coaster ride for us over the past 14.5 years of marriage.

But the first interview went well and the Guy wanted to meet me and kinda interview me too. STRANGE RIGHT?!?!?! But we found out that he runs a tight nit family business that has been around for 35 years and he knows how much the wife has sway in the husbands happiness, so he wanted to make sure that I was supportive and on board with my husbands choice to work with his company. We met for Breakfast 1 week after his initial interview and things again seemed to go well, but the Guy hadn't made up his mind yet, need time to run numbers and pray about it to make sure we would fit what he was looking for best out of all the candidates that had applied.

That 5 days of playing the waiting/hoping/praying/ game SUCKED big time, my anxiety was high, but I kept telling myself if it was meant to be then GOD would make it fall into place and if not he would provide another answer for us. So Monday came and NO Answer my hubs got home from work at 5:30 and I said "What the heck still NO response?" his reply "Nothing." OH boy Breath....
we proceeded to make dinner and get the kitchen cleaned after 8pm when his phone rang, YEP it was our answer.

"So is he going to offer you the Job?" was my response as soon as he hung up Layne responded with "He still hasn't decided he wants to meet with me one more time this Wednesday." WOW, God sure knows how to Mess  (Jokester) with my emotions.

HOW was I gonna get through MORE Waiting???

So around comes Wednesday night and he meets the guy at the work location they talk for an hour and he comes home acting put out a little, I was Freaking out in my mind at this point, "did he get the job or not?" So he got his plate of food and sat down to eat, and around the corner comes our Cassie (8 yrs) "Daddy, Daddy, did you get the JOB?"

"Yes, I did, I will be starting May 1st." He told us.

"Relief, Tears, Joy all wrapped into a single moment." We did it, GOD finally saw fit for us to have Stability in a JOB. and I am so Grateful that my Friend reached out and shared a lead he had on a JOB. He easily could have kept his mouth shut, and just brushed off our need. But he didn't he listened to the prompting he had and acted and We appreciate it so much.

So, y'all probably want to know what is the JOB already, Spill The Beans....

He will be working a sales position selling Soap to business, I know seems strange, let me explain. so Places that have machines NEED to wash their machinery right? what about the Train tankers? and Car detail shops? Yep they all use soap, and he gets to serve the preexisting accounts and then go out and bring in new accounts as well.

I wont talk #'s but it is a good Base salary with commission on top, and for that we are SO grateful. Such a HUGE blessing it will be to have a regular paycheck every two weeks, that will cover our bills. So we went out to dinner to Celebrate this Blessing!!!

NOW I am looking forward to my Income with my coaching business being able to get us out of the debt we got into trying to survive these past 8 months, I look forward to finally paying off my student loans and have a Savings again.

GOD is GOOD, and when you Pray like it all depends on him, but Bust your BUTT like it all depends on you HE will shower blessing upon us.

NOW the story doesn't end there, Life has not just become BLISS because of this, NOPE the Devil tried to Match the blessing with Opposition and this week has been ROUGH!

Some of you saw the post that our oldest son got suspended for 3 days due to erratic behavior, our poor sweet Cassie bug is having a really rough time with one of her teachers and begs to not go to school each morning. MY body decided all this STRESS and Anxiety was too much so it began attacking me. MY back has been at about a level 6/10 pain for 3 weeks now and 10 days ago I got impetigo on my ear, it has since spread to both ears, my leg and now this morning my arm. I have been trying to use essential oils to kill it, bot so much working. BAH!!!

But then more good things too, My Team is expanding rapidly, we are being able to Impact so many wonderful lives that I could never have impacted on my own, but this company allows others who find success with their products to pay it forward so to speak and become Team Beachbody coaches too, so that they can help their circle of friends. It's such a Honest, Supportive, Great company.

So, Thank you all so much for your prayers and leads on jobs and to my Team who has given me strength when my body has been fighting against me. I LOVE YOU and appreciate all you have done to build a strong team and for getting uncomfortable to invite others and bless their lives too.

Our Marriage is still rocky, we still struggle to parent the best we can, and although I wish those things could change as rapidly as getting a new job. I KNOW that GOD gives us Weakness to Strengthen us, to help us connect with others and to know WE can not do it without HIM!!!

So baby steps to heal and fix those things, but in the mean time I know that the burden of our job situation will help a lot.

If you missed my first Blog post about this here is the Link to it :  It's Worth Fighting For

Also for more information about having your own Team Beachbody Coach, or to join my Team visit my personal website here: SherinStark.com

What do You HATE about your LIFE???

I was going to type this all out, but then you wouldn't be able to FEEL my Heart and Passion through mere text. So instead I shared a Facebook LIVE and recorded it to share here with you.

*** PLEASE Share with your friends too, I know there are MANY who this will resonate with and NEED this at this time in their lives.  

For more info visit my SherinStark.com 

YOU are a Failure?!?!?!

All to often we Use the Word Failure to mean WE weren't able to Accomplish something that we wanted to accomplish in a specific time frame.
* I failed my test (limited by time)
* I failed at trying to start my own business (limited again by a time frame)
* I am a Failure as a parent (um if you are still a parent there is Still TIME, to change things around)
* I failed trying out for the team (well that means you have another season to prepare for next years team)
Failure can only Happen if:
* You QUIT trying,
* STOP getting back up after you feel knocked down, or
* Don't take the appropriate actions to turn things around
To ME Failure is the COP OUT way of saying I GIVE UP!!!
Because it makes you the Victim so people FEEL Sorry for you rather than saying I Gave UP, I decided my Dreams, or MY children, or MY test weren't important to me so I just didn't Put in the Effort Necessary to Succeed.
Don't allow your self to get sucked into this Victim mentality, YOU are Better than THAT and have bigger Hopes and Dreams in this Life than Blaming Failure.
LIFE IS HARD for EVERYONE!
Suck IT UP Butter Cup and Keep Going or Begin Again with MORE WISDOM this TIME!
YOU are NOT a Failure and if you are telling yourself that you are, we ought to talk, cause I don't want my friends telling themselves negative things like that.

Visit my website for more information on how I may be able to Assist you: sherinstark.com

I Can't Fix Your Problems...But I can...

***Are you sitting in the parent pick up line feeling a bit overwhelmed or 

***Maybe trying to make dinner and the kids are complaining at your feet???

I have BEEN there MORE often than I want to be and I know how it seems never ending...
- BUT there is a way to Change things around, I have LOVED the Book that I have been listening too this month. It teaches us WOMEN the importance of MAKING Time to care for our Minds, Body's and Spirits, NOT trying to Fit it into our BUSY, OVERFILLED Lives!!!
Don't quit reading yet, I use to Roll my eyes at this too.
When I read it Resonates with my SOUL that this is KEY to a HAPPY Home life.
We all have heard the saying when Momma Ain't Happy Ain't Nobody Happy!
Well here is the TRUTH when Mom is Constantly:
*running errands
*taxiing the kids around
*making meals
*cleaning the house
*babysitting for friends
*washing, folding, putting away the laundry
*helping out at church, kids school, or other events
*getting little sleep due to children keeping her up
*supporting her hubby in his interests
*working her job in our out of the home
When the Heck is there time to RELAX, REJUVENATE, and be able to Sustain that with a freaking SMILE on her Face???
It's NOT Possible, Yet for some reason our society expects this of us women, and when we don't we get bullied, criticized, belittle or name called when we can't HOLD it all together.
PLEASE Listen and Take Action!!!
YOU need to Make time for YOU, YOUR Family Needs you to Make time for YOU.
*Your kids wont remember you taking 1 night off a month to go out with your girl friends to have some Adult, Relax, time with out the kids.
*Your kids wont remember you taking 45 mins to go get a message or pedi while they have a play date with their friends.
*Your kids wont remember you taking a NIGHT of to spend with your Husband on a DATE Night.
WHAT THEY WILL REMEMBER IS
*A Grumpy
*Stressed out
*Frazzled
*Swearing
*Tired
*MEAN MOMMY
Because NO one, can be a SUPER Mom all the TIME if you do NOT care for YOU too.
What I have found works best for me is to LET me friends be my Support, most of us have been where you are at some point and we understand you NEED a Break, YOU need Support, and You need a gentle Reminder that YOU can do it, YOU are Worth it, and YOU will FIND Joy from taking time OUT for YOU Weekly.
IF you don't know how to even begin to Free UP time or Make YOU a priority I would Love to talk with you and share ways I have found that WILL Work...
It's NOT FUN to Do it ALONE, I will walk along side you and HELP you to Find JOY in your Journey every step of the WAY.

The Ripple Effect

KNOW What???
This week has been AWESOME!!!
As I reached out and connected with Friends, NEW acquaintances, Customers, and Coaches on my Team I have BEEN in AWE....
Awe... Because of a Choice that I made on November 28th 2014 around 8:30pm.
A Choice that I could NOT (Would NOT) have imagined the RIPPLE Effect it (could) has caused for those in my life.
I chose to become a Health and Fitness Coach. At first simply so that I could:
* Get a discount on the products I was going to use
* Be held more accountable
* And Make an extra $250-300 a month
BUT not only has my Vision changed, my Entire LIFE has changed course in a very Positive direction.
I want to share just 3 of those (peoples stories) who I have connected with today.
* One Friend (who is 50+) told me she completed the 21 day FIX on Saturday and shared with me her success. She is feeling better about herself and proud of her dedication to changing her healthy even though it hasn't been easy, Plus she saw a 6lb loss in just 21 days. Today she began her second ROUND, I am so blessed to know her in my life and be her COACH!
* One of my personal Coaches shared with me that in JUST one WEEK of following the Portion Fix Meal Guide- to a T (she changed nothing else in her life from what she was already doing) she lost 9.5" and 3.2lbs. Her BODY was Ready and was Craving the Healthy foods in proper portions. I am so Proud of her commitment to STICK with it.
* MY third Story I want to share is from a long time friend who decided to give Country Heat, Shakeology and the Portion fix a try. She finished her first 30 days with it and shared that she feels more energy, is Super Proud of herself and lost a FULL pants size.
I am blessed daily to connect with WOMEN and hear successes like this all because I made a seemingly small choice to Become a TEAM Beachbody Coach.
Know what else is Incredible?
The Coaching opportunity isn't a Secret that only a Select few can take part in, It's available to ANY one, Male or Female who want's to MAKE a difference in their own health and the health of those they LOVE.

***Have you ever Considered the coaching opportunity for you (or some one you know)???
If you have and I have not yet invited you to learn more, Please reach out and let me know you are interested in seeing if it could be a good fit for YOU.

Visit my website to learn more: sherinstark.com

It's Been All Rainbows & Sunshine Since.... Not Exactly

This is a Follow up Post to the Post about Layne and I getting Divorced that I wrote 10 Days ago. 

I had so many of you reach out to me and let me know that WE are NOT alone, that YOU TOO have been there or have already gone through Divorce and your experience. 

I Honestly Appreciate Every Single one of you for taking time out of your Lives to Reach-out, Shower me with Love, Concern, Support, Friendship, and some of you Simply being a listening Ear when I Needed it. 

For those of you who missed the First post you can find it here so you can be up to speed on what's been happening: https://sherinstark.blogspot.com/2017/04/this-is-worth-fighting-for.html 

So to update Y'all, since my last post NO things have not been all Rainbows and Sunshine. But I Personally (Can't speak for Layne) Feel that things are Improving, Slowly but moving Up and Forward. 

*We have Begun Praying together nightly and I Love that, I Always want GOD to be a Part of our Marriage and Guide and Direct us. 
*I have noticed Layne makes a big effort to come home Happier (at least act like it) from work and spend more quality time with the kids.
*I have been more diligent in reading my scriptures and praying First thing in the day rather than later when I FIND time (often times it wouldn't happen if I put it off) and that's been helping me to feel the spirit in the home more. 
*We have certainly been More united on the way we discipline and follow through with the kids (which we are getting a ton of Backlash from them, but that just shows we are doing it right and they are trying to keep pushing their bounds) 
*He has been more Supportive of my Coaching business and we have talked more about what type of Job he would Enjoy and he has been applying and interviewing for positions
*We went on a Date night on Friday and it was nice to get away from LIFE (Stay off our phones, and NOT hear the kids bickering) and it just be some Chill time with each other. 
*We have been less prone (still happens) to be offended by the TONE we use with each other, and clarify first before just thinking the other was saying it Rudely, etc...

SO are things Perfect, are we the Couple to Idolize, I wouldn't think so, BUT with GOD at the Front and US both willing to put in 100% I Know it's Gonna Just keep Getting better, until SOON (I Hope) we can look back and Think "Why did this seem like such a big hurdle, we Breezed over it."

If you are Still struggling in your Marriage Feeling ALONE, the Communication SUCKS, and YOU aren't sure where to Turn or What to do, REACH OUT TO ME. I would love to at least listen and share what has and hasn't worked for me if you would like to try them in your relationship. 

So Often what we are going through seems like it's Impossible to Summit, but if we simply tweak a few things here and there, we can literally overcome it. Learn from it and Become Stronger because of it. Don't live in Misery, don't Victimize yourself, and Don't allow your Spouse to be Blamed for everything wrong in your marriage. (although sometimes NO matter what you do that spouse is unwilling to change and YOU do have to Walk away) 

Hollywood has Painted Marriage to either be BLISSFUL or AWFUL, and that Cheating or Stepping out is not only acceptable it's Thrilling and Wonderful, and the one you Cheat with of course will be your Prince/Princess you have been Dreaming of. 

Let me share a Secret with you WHAT HAPPENS IN THE MOVIES ISN'T REAL LIFE! 

I am Happy to Sum this up by saying, MY mind is Happier just in the past 10 days than it's been in over a Year as far as me Feeling and Seeing HOPE in our Marriage. 

Please FOLLOW my blog & Share so others can benefit too. 

www.SherinStark.com

NOW You See ME.... Now You Don't?!?!?

How many of you Women HIDE Behind the Camera instead of In front of it???

I am gonna share a story that I hope many of you can relate to.

after my second baby, I 100% HATED how my body looked. Yeah yeah, we are told as women we Should be proud of our MOM (stretch marks, saggy skin, and tummy's) Bodies, but I couldn't see past the WHALE that I felt like I was. 

One of the hardest parts for me, was that we lived in Florida at the time and most were running around in shorty shorts, tanks and bikini's and LOOKING Amazing. and There I was trying to cover up as much as I could while at the Beach, Pool or at the Park with my Kiddos. 

I was so unhappy (in fact I refer to those 4.5 years of my life as the Dark Age, I was so depressed and my self esteem, lets just say I had the opposite, Self Loath.) in the skin that I was left with after my Incredible baby girl was born. 

I rarely wanted to be in photos, because I thought if I don't have to see myself then maybe I wont Hate myself so bad. but sadly that didn't stop others from seeing me, and the thing was THEY didn't feel this way about me. They saw me for ME, not for my Body. When I would resist being in a picture cause I felt I look awful, they would encourage me to Jump in to have the memories. 

But sadly there is about a 2 year period of my life that I mostly just have pics of me from the shoulders UP. 

Is this YOU right NOW??? 

Let me Share 3 things with you about WHY you NEED to make this STOP NOW!!!

1) Just because we Cover ourselves with a Blanket doesn't mean we can't still be seen. Well just taking ourselves out of pictures gets a bit awkward (draws more attention to ourselves, when we resist and try to slink away) for others who LOVE us just the way we are.

 2) We are not Privy to when we will no longer be on this earth and our LOVED ones want photos to remember us by if we get taken suddenly at a younger age. We Don't want take those memories from them, because WE don't like how we look in photos. 

3) If we are NOT happy with where our bodies are at, WE (and NO one else) have the Power to Do something about it. We can get over ourselves, Stop saying NOTHING works, Stop making excuses for why it's too hard, and Find A WAY to Get your Body to Match the way your Mind envisions YOU. 

I chose 2 years ago to take the necessary steps to drop the Dang EXCUSES and PUT in the Work! Before any of you think, WELL you had it easy:

You are YOUNG

You are Healthy

You have the Time

You actually LIKE Exercise 

or any other ideas...

I was not Healthy, I was boarder line anorexic, my anxiety was awful, I had carpal tunnel so bad my wrists were in wraps for almost 4 weeks 24/7. I had to battle scoliosis that at the time I didn't even know that's what I had, I just knew I had to be super careful or I would get a pinched never that would knock me down for 3+ days. I was a home school mom to two kids and a had a toddler at home. I was trying to Build a business to bring in the extra income we needed to LIVE. I had a very demanding church service calling, and on top of all of that, I was trying to be a Good Friend, Mom, and Wife. 

So NO it wasn't easy to get my Body Healthy and Fit again, BUT having the Right Tools, and an Incredible Support System did make a HUGE Difference, in my ability to Stick with it until I got the results I wanted. 

***Please Please Please, Start being in those pictures allowing your loved ones to have those memories and if YOU are Unhappy with your Body, Please Reach OUT to ME, I've been there, and Taking the step to message me, Just might change your LIFE, if you will LET IT!!!! 

Check out my Website to Learn MORE

As Always Please Follow my Blog and Share this Post. 

"Shakeology is a WASTE of My Money!"

When I first began with Beachbody I thought it was like so many of those other companies out there you Drink the Shake, so that it LOOKS like a good product and you can MAKE Sales and Earn Big BUCKS!

HA!!! After drinking Shakeology daily for just 6 weeks I loved it, I felt more energy, my cravings had nearly vanished and I was regular (I pooped daily, hadn't had that happen since birthing  kids, I know tmi, but a lot of you mommies out there probably have this issue) I Fell in love with the product and wanted to Share it with Everyone. 

After trying to talk with people about it and getting price objection after price objection I began thinking, "Hmm well it is rather highly priced. Maybe it isn't a good deal." So I did a little experiment around month 3 of using it and I just quit using it, for I think 10 days. 

OH my Gosh, my irregularity came back, my energy plummeted, I was irritable big time, I didn't LIKE how I felt at ALL. Oh and I couldn't stop eating Sugar and Chocolate! That was it, last time I would quite drinking the shake and last time I would quit letting others (who had never even tried or taken the time to research it themselves) tell me it was TOO expensive. 

Instead I realized this stuff is a GOD send. Really I need to share it and Truly Help people to See the Value it had to offer them, rather than convincing them it Wasn't Affordable. I was basically Stopping people from being healthy (not realizing I was) As soon as they would say it was too much, I would agree with them and just move on. 

My body was feeling and acting better than it had in years. I was able to Actually make it through the Witching hours with my Sanity still in tact most days. I knew so many MOM's who were and are battling similar issues to what I was, and the fact that in my mind I was Scared that I would come across to my friends as just trying to make a Buck off them, Held me back from Sharing for So Long. 

Not any MORE, Shakeology is a Blessing in my LIFE and CAN be a blessing in your life as well, if you will take the time to do the research and give it a TRY. 

Stop trying to convince yourself that YOUR Health isn't Valuable/ Worth a $120/ Bag of Whole Food Goodness. Because not only is it worth that, your Health is the most important thing in this life. If you aren't healthy and battling illness all the time, you can't Be the Best you, you can't Serve, you can't be the Best MOM you could be, or Wife or friend, etc... Having Good Health is Crucial!!!

Stop Trying to use a Band-aid to fix your health problems (by choosing to eat a $2 granola bar to replace your big ole breakfast) when you need to quit drinking those energy drinks, eating that whole pack of Oreo's, or going out to Carl's Jr. every day for lunch. BUT if your body is Used to all those things I just listed then just Stopping on your own is near Impossible. They all have additives to make us crave them and feel we NEED them daily. 

Shakeology CAN help, it can Cleanse your body, Heal your body, and allow your body to absorb the WHOLE foods you will now be filling it with. It can help your body to be able to deal with stress better, it boosts your immune system up and allows your body to fight off many germs. NO I am not saying that it's a FIX all or will Heal everything. BUT I can heal many things and can fix some. 

Basically I want you to KNOW This, I used to hesitate to talk about Shakeology for Fear of what people would say or think when they found out how much it costs. BUT Not any more, YOU should be Jumping at the opportunity to Spend under $4 a day on YOUR Preventative health. And I am Thrilled to be able to offer it to you along with Coaching you all the way through your Healthy Transformation. YOU don't have to do it ALONE! 

If you are willing to spend $5 at the drive through for a burger and fries that have ZERO nutritional Value then you should be MORE than willing to Spend your Money on a Healthy, Convenient, Meal each day! 

And I NO longer Here "Shakeology is a waste of Money" when people say "I can't afford it." I NOW Here "My Health is not Worth $4 a day" I know from experience in my Own life that if we see Value in something we will FIND/Make a way to afford it. but if we don't we will Find/Make and excuse for why we can't!

Learn more, or do your own Research by visiting my website here: SherinStark.com

Young Adult Fallacies... Adult Realization!!!

I used to think as a YOUTH Once I am Married all the Temptation will be GONE. I will be Sinless virtually. I would day dream about my PERFECT future, always willing to Forgive my spouse because our LOVE wouldn't let anything else get in the WAY. Quick to Patience with my Sweet Obedient Children. And so many other Fallacies that I literally just couldn't comprehend as a 14, 15, 16 year old girl. 

NOW 14.5 years into Marriage I realize my temptations as a YOUTH were NOTHING compared to what I battle with NOW. Plus as an Adult I am Responsible for ME, my Thoughts, Actions, and Choices, no parents to step in and Rescue me or Help me see the Outcome before I get to far in. 

Nope I am Solely Responsible and although I love that Freedom I also HATE it. Adulting is Rough many days, especially if you are battling not only your choices but several little People who are Watching you and Expecting you to be their Super Hero to Follow. 

Being 100% Faithful to your Spouse in your Thoughts and Actions is WAY more difficult than it would seem when your Marriage is NOT as Blissful as you Planned for it to be. Satan certainly Revels in any opportunity to Sneak his way in and try to Unravel things just a bit more, even if it may seem Harmless at the time.  

Being a Patient, Kind, Loving Mother 100% of the TIME is Not even POSSIBLE, yet I sure thought it was. I thought my kids would WANT to be have because I would know how to Love them and Support them and offer them opportunities for Growth. WELL I didn't even know what ADHD or Anxiety was as a Teen, so how in the world could I have imagined I would have two children who would battle this Daily. 

I was also under the false Impression that It was a Mother/Wives Responsibility to ALWAYS put your Spouse and Children First (That is what I always saw my mother doing) NO matter if that meant you weren't Happy, didn't feel Loved, weren't able to fulfill your Passions and Desires. and The Women who did do those things WERE NOT Women following what GOD wanted for them, they were hurting their marriages and their children.

I have Since had my eyes OPEN big time I have Learned that UNTIL we Put
God - First
Myself - 2nd 
Family - 3rd, & 
Everything Else 4th, 5th, and so on...
That I Could NOT find JOY in this Life, I could NOT be the Best wife I could be, or the Patient mother I really want to be.

Since having the Beachbody Coaching Opportunity come into my life, I have had so many misconceptions erased, and NEW ways of thinking put into my mind through over a dozen books on bettering myself so that I can be better for others. 

I have Learned that putting my Health, Emotionally, Physically, and Mentally FIRST and Prioritizing my Life around that, I can Accomplish MORE, Serve more Freely, and Live with JOY in my day to day LIFE.    

But one of the Coolest things about this New found knowledge is that it has taught me "Not all Negative in your life happens TO YOU, Most of it happens FOR YOU" We can learn so much from our Negative experiences. We can learn how to be Stronger, more compassionate, wiser, etc... More often than NOT if we will allow it to, the Negative is Preparing us to be able to connect with someone GOD plans to place in your life who will NEED you to have experienced that exact trial. 

I have learned to quit thinking I am a Victim who BAD happens too and I NOW think how can this Prepare me, Improve, me, allow me to GROW....

***Challenge for those who would like:
Write down 1 Negative you are going through in your life right now and two you have gone through in the past. 
NOW write down 3 Positive things that you have gained from these Negative Experiences and find a way to Utilize them for Good in your WEEK. 

~As always if you found this a Valuable post PLEASE Follow Me, & if you want 

More info about me Visit my website Here:  www.SherinStark.com

"Busy" Shouldn't Define YOU!

When some one thinks of YOU, or is telling a friend about you, would they use the word BUSY to Describe YOU???

Think about it, our Culture has defined Success, Status and Worth by How BUSY we are!!!!!

WHY?

Give this a try, ask 5 friends via social media this simple question and find out what their response is:
"How Are YOU? We haven't talked in a while and I wanted to see how you are doing." 
I will betcha that 3 of the 5 will have the Word BUSY in their reply (if they even reply, because they think they are too BUSY, to take 2 mins and respond to a Friend.)

So again I ask, WHY do we tend to Define ourselves as HUMANS by how BUSY we are in LIFE. 

Here is how the Dictionary defines Busy:

Lets talk about the first definition: Having a great deal to do, WHO made you have So much to do???
YOU, You Choose what to do and what not to do, and often times Due to the way we are brought up, we are told that WE need to do "It All" or we are Worthless, Lazy, not Successful, etc... and we don't want to feel GUILT or Anxiety about NOT Keeping up.

Definition two: Keep occupied, WHY in the world would you want to KEEP Occupied???
Again because we Feel we HAVE TO, or we aren't keeping up with the Jones. We are worried others will think we are Lazy or Slothful and we CARE about what they THINK. 

***PLEASE HEAR ME, FEEL ME, and UNDERSTAND This: YOU are NOT Defined by HOW Much YOU Do, but by HOW, and WHAT you Choose to do!!!!!!!!!

We (me included in the past) have defined and judged others by their choices of what they do with their time and by how busy they make themselves. However over the past several months of listening to Personal Development books I have had an AH-HA Experience. I have Realized this Darn word "BUSY" is Creating Monster Moms, Wives, and Children. It's Ruining Trust, and Hurting Friendships, all because we are Basing our Feelings off of whether some one is TOO BUSY to spend time with us, or if they are TOO BUSY to raise their kids right, or if YOU yourself are TOO Busy to keep that friendship going, how about Too BUSY to take care of your Health, and a BIG one these days TOO BUSY to Worship GOD, or even Acknowledge him in our LIVES. 

PLEASE STOP!

God did not send us to this earth to Keep ourselves Completely OCCUPIED, or always having a Great Deal to do. 

He Created for us a Beautiful WORLD to enJOY and Appreciate the Smells, Sounds, Feelings as we adventure through them all.

He Sent us to Families to LOVE, Communicate with, and Spend Quality time enJOYing each others Company as we adventure together through life. 

He Gave us Friends, friends who can lighten our burden when we are struggling,  friends who you can bbq with, laugh with, cry with, and play with. Friends who have experienced (similar to what you have) situations that you can LEAN on. Friends who can help you when you need a break from MOMMING, or who will take you out for an evening of Adult conversation. HE sent us friends to enJOY sunsets together or a walk through the park.

He has given MAN the Knowledge of How to create technology so that we Can Learn from people that live Thousands of miles from us, or heck even right down the street (that we NEVER would have met with out Social Media). Continuing to Learn and be Open, allowing our Opinions to change as we gain more Knowledge is Crucial to our Progression in this life and brings us Much JOY as we realize all that we can Become with our New Found Knowledge. 

YES we do have many Responsibility in LIFE that MUST be Tended too, BUT that does not mean that we can NOT schedule a few hours a day of Down Time in there too. Having Down time allows us to be Spontaneous, welcome a friend over who needs to talk, take our kids to the park, or spend time walking hand in hand with our spouse around our neighborhood as we enjoy the sunset together. 

Creating a Life of BUSY is really NO Life at all!

I know, I used to live one, it's just been in the last few months that I am learning I don't need to Live my life so that others WONT judge me Harshly, If we are Following Christ and his example the WORLD will always Judge us harshly. 

YOU are the one who CREATES your Life, YOU choose to Over Fill it or NOT, so Choose Wisely and LOVE the Life you Create. 

***Home Work ~
If you are Ready to really make a difference in your life and Stop defining yourself with the word BUSY, try this, it made a HUGE difference in my JOY.
1) Write down 3 things in your life that YOU personally do NOT have to do, that you can CUT out of your life, whether that be Delegate it to some one else or just stop doing it.
2) Figure out how much time you will have a week by no longer needing to do those 3 things, and Stop doing them.
3) Keep that time OPEN to be Spontaneous, get out in nature, play with your kids, spend time with your hubby, or a friend, Nothing Set in stone that HAS to be Done. 

It's such a Freeing feeling when you have time to Stop and Smell the Flowers.....

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This Is Worth FIGHTING For...

When I Covenanted to Spend the Rest of Time and All Eternity with this MAN, I never thought that we would be Discussing the "D" word Openly and actually considering if it would be better for us.

But over the past few months that is Exactly what I have found myself in the midst of, I have felt so Lonely, we don't Parent on the same page, and I have not Felt LOVED for a long time now.

For about the past 6 months once we moved and Layne's work situation started spiraling downward, he started Reclusing himself and I had really not much of an Idea what was going on, how he felt or what he even wanted in life any more. 

He started to just be Grumpy or Angry when he was home and we rarely talked, when I came to share with him my excitement for accomplishments with my Business he acted as if he didn't care, sometimes even saying "I don't really care." 

I felt that I had NO one that I could openly talk with about all of this, because I still kept feeling that THIS CAN'T BE HAPPENING TO ME!

I have literally had 10+ Close friends go through Divorce in just the past year and I always thought how sad that they weren't able to make it work. But after several months of him getting WORSE not better, and trying to get him to communicate with me, and Still NOTHING. I found myself giving up, Wishing for the Grass to be Greener on the other side. 

I found my Business starting to struggle because my #1 Goal in building this business was to be able to Help Others and that included helping my Hubby to be able to Find the career of his dreams. I figured when I was earning enough income that he could take time to really find his passion and work because he enjoyed it like I do with mine, he would be so much Happier and feel Fulfilled as I do. BUT I just was realizing I wasn't going to make it to that, because he had Given up on LIFE, and his Family. 

I began Pleading with the Lord, Fasting specifically for Strength and guidance, attending the temple and praying there, seeking advice from my church leaders, siblings, and close friends, who all suggested that Divorce wasn't off the table with the situation we found ourselves in. My heart HURT, I began to let go and try to convince myself that it wouldn't hurt so bad, God would send some one else that would be Great, Because I wanted the heart ache and Anxiety to Subside. 

I wanted a Partner, some one who would Laugh with me, cry with me, and build me up, and I wasn't finding any of that any more. 

I had a Long talk with my Brother whom I so appreciate our close relationship and him Listening and suggesting ideas and just being there for me, not judging me, when I felt I had NO one else. 

The next day I participated in our weekly Coach Training Call, and my Coach was the assigned trainer for the week. She shared a Ted Talk with us about a Lady who stated "If my Life were a Book and I was the Author, How would I want my Story to Go?" She also said "It's not about breaking down our boarders, it's about pushing off them and seeing what Amazing places it will Bring us to."

I couldn't get either of those out of my head. Especially the first one "If my Life were a Book how would I want the Story to GO?" I played this over and over in my mind, I thought out different scenarios of what I would want to READ in a Story, what I would be more likely to be captivated by and not able to put down until I found out the end. 

This made me decide I wanted to FIGHT like HELL for my Marriage, I wanted to do everything in my Power to Make it Work and Make it Wonderful. 

So after climbing into bed late one night and Layne already being mostly asleep, I told him we needed to talk and it needed to be NOW. To my surprise he sat up and agreed we needed to talk. At first it seemed to be so discouraging, still not getting to where I was hoping we could get. But finally he began to Open up to me and let me know how he felt and I let him know how I felt and we listened to each other. But I could still hear and see Despair in his countenance, I knew he had kinda already given up in his mind too. 

So I reached across the bed and Grabbed his Hand and said I want you to FIGHT for me, I want to be worth fighting for, cause I am willing to Fight if YOU are. And then of course the tears began pouring and I sobbed for a long time.  I am the ONE who Creates my Life I do Write my Story and I want ME to WIN, I want to Fight for the LOVE of my Life and MAKE it Work. And Now that I knew he was willing to as well, THINGS can begin to improve. 

That was just 5 days ago, and already things Really are on the mend, I have noticed he is kinder, more thankful for me, and a touch more optimistic about life. I am No Longer trying to Break down the boarders that I had set in my mind but Rather Push off them and See where it will take us TOGETHER!

Well today we went out on a family Adventure to a near by wildlife park, and as I walked and observed my family and our dynamics I was Reassured that I will Fight, I will WIN and I will CREATE the LIFE I have always Dreamed of, the Devil WILL NOT WIN, Not this Time, Not EVER, Because I have the Savior on my Side to Help me Write my Story to be PERFECT for ME. 

THIS IS

WORTH 

FIGHTING 

FOR!!!

I am so grateful for my Business of Coaching, that helps me stay grounded, gives me insight, support, helps me feel fulfilled and is the Vehicle to Help Us Write our Perfect Story. 

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www.SherinStark.Com

If you would like to listen to the Ted Talk that I mentioned it's right here:

TedTalks - Amy Purdy

***If you want to Read the Update, click HERE